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    August 07

    绝对空虚

    最近的精神状态就是:绝对空虚。
    看着别人日忙夜忙,自己却在对着空气望着天空过着我的每一天。脑袋像是一个空盒子(这个盒子里绝对没有Jack),厚厚的纸皮盒,纯白色的纸皮盒,里面装着的是透明的空气。
    不是说我是没有压力的自由自在地继续这种生活,因为每晚都作梦,梦见的都是关于学习就业的内容(昨晚就梦见我们高中敬爱的杨之元老师过来检查《同步》,话说《同步》不是初中的练习册么?)。醒来后发现又回归到同样单调无色的生活之流中。
    我认为自己可以把握到一切,却在不知不觉间让身边的人都担心起来。随之突然间发现自己很颓废。
    深夜躺在床上想,像小池徹平这样,实现了自己梦想的人,是不是心里会觉得非常充实呢,他是怎样感觉的呢?虽然我们是不会像日本人一样整天把“梦想”之类的挂在嘴边,不过作为活着的价值,大家都会想实现梦想吧。回过头认真想了想,我才发现自己原来从来就把自己的梦想定义为“不可能任务”的级别,虽然觉得实现梦想是很棒的事情,不过从来就没有真正地想到它真的会实现,因此,从来不会努力去朝着自己的梦想去奋斗。原来自己是这么的可悲。
     
    就让我自己慢慢沉到深海里吧~

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    莹 zzwrote:
    life is paradox
    Aug. 9

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